Backstory: Oli and I have been together 3 years (ish). We met when we were both 16 in Costa in town and have had an (almost) normal relationship since.  The only part we don’t talk about is the brief period in which we broke up last summer, which coincidently happened during the stress of our A2 exams and the stress of uni and moving away from home and each other. ANYWAY as I say, we brush over that minor hiccup and move on to how we’ve dealt with both being fresher’s at different uni’s.

First of all, this is just us. Our situation is probably very different to a lot of couples who go to uni. Particularly that we only live about an hour away from each other. This isn’t what a lot of people would call long distance but after spending the majority of our relationship 10 minutes away, it’s a bit of a jump. This isn’t usually a problem, if everything goes to plan. However if we’re arguing at 2am, getting a train from Preston to Manchester so we can talk in person is a pretty impossible task. This doesn’t happen often, but when it does it shows how much those 38 miles count. 

Advice: you don’t always have to drive in the middle of the night only to get there and be questioned by the security at Oli’s halls as to why you’re there crying at 3am in your pyjamas.

Luckily, as Oli does a bullshit screenwriting course he’s only in uni 3 days a week, which means when he comes to Manchester we can have a long weekend and make the most of the time we have. However when I don’t finish until 5 on a Friday then have a 9am on Monday it makes the weekends in Preston feel extremely short. On the few (many) occasions I missed that 9am because I couldn’t motivate myself to drive for an hour down the M6 at 11pm on a Sunday night, I justify that it’s worth it. However when it came to first semester exam season, I realised that those 9am’s were probably important and if I had made it to them, I wouldn’t have has to spend an entire week teaching myself the course. 

Advice: go to lectures. Even the 9am’s. You will regret staying in bed when you’re in the exam room and the only thing you’ve written is your name.

Taking it back to the first week, I moved in on the Friday before freshers. I drove up with my family, and Oli. Looking back this may have been a mistake. Not just because 4 people don’t really fit comfortably in a halls room, especially when trying to unpack. But because seeing them (Oli) leave was a bit traumatising. Oli moved in to his halls on the Sunday, I got an early train to Preston to help him unpack and settle in. But again was traumatised when I had to get my return train home. 

Advice: rip the plaster off quickly and don’t hang about getting upset. You have to get used to leaving some time.

I know a lot of couples only get to see each other once a month, or less, because of costs or work commitments. We’re lucky in that we can see each other most, if not every weekend. However this often means missing out on time with friends. Although we have missed a weekend every now and then, not seeing someone for two weeks is such a long time if you’ve got into a routine. But you don’t necessarily have to sacrifice your partner for your friends or vice versa. 

Advice: compromise is key. If you see friends on a Friday, you still have the rest of the weekend together. Or invite your other half out with your friends, if they get on with each other there are far fewer conflicts.

Because this post has gotten long and to be honest I can’t be arsed to write anymore, I’ll wrap it up. You don’t have to sacrifice a relationship just because you move to uni. At the end of the day, like any kind of relationship, if you trust each other it will work, if you don’t it won’t. There will be arguments, and inevitable jealousy. Its only 24 weeks, and it makes you appreciate the time you have when you are in the same town. 

DISCLAIMER: I am aware that many people who know me may not think I'm the best person to give advice on relationships at all. But me and Oli are still together and happy the majority of the time, considering everything we've been through that's pretty good going.